{"id":2946,"date":"2020-03-24T12:33:30","date_gmt":"2020-03-24T03:33:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vhbloglive.wpengine.com\/?p=2946"},"modified":"2020-03-25T16:43:13","modified_gmt":"2020-03-25T07:43:13","slug":"what-your-neighbors-want-to-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.villagehouse.jp\/en\/japanese-apartment-life\/what-your-neighbors-want-to-say\/","title":{"rendered":"What Your Neighbors Want to Say but Won\u2019t"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Living in Japan is comparable to\nliving in other places in the world. Everyone is simply living their lives as\nbest they can. With that being said, there can be some predetermined\nconceptions about Japanese neighbors. Some things you may hear can be common\neveryday mannerisms you\u2019ll find everywhere else. Others will require a little\nunderstanding of Japan. Try your best to not try to impose your home countries\nidea of living to your new place and get to know the customs of the country. It\nalways making general living more enjoyable. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The fact that you are a foreigner will\nautomatically make interacting with seem like a scary prospect to most native\nJapanese. Even though Japan has seen an increase in their foreign population in\nrecent years, it is still not something that most of them are used to\nexperiencing on a regular basis. Most actively want to speak to foreign\nresidents, but don\u2019t have enough foreign language skill to clearly articulate\ntheir thoughts. They can also be shy even though they have enough skill because\nthey feel they will make mistakes with their new acquaintance. Because of this,\ninteractions are usually kept to a minimum. This doesn\u2019t mean that they don\u2019t\nlike you, just that it isn\u2019t something they fully comfortable with or used to\ndoing. You can help these situations out by being friendly, trying to use\nwhatever Japanese you can, or offering help or even small treats from time to\ntime. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Typical city life in Japan\u2019s major\ncities is what you would expect of any major metropolitan area. A large amount\nof people living in small areas requires people to live in smaller spaces and\nclose quarters. That being said, the way the apartments are made are built add\nfew more things to think about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The average apartment has thin walls\nand can lead to you hearing entire conversations throughout the day. It doesn\u2019t\ntake much to be too loud in the tight living settings. Most neighbors aren\u2019t\nbothered by this as long as it is kept to a minimal volume and doesn\u2019t happen\ntoo late or too early. The volumes of televisions and music are a big thing to\nconsider when trying to keep from bothering anyone nearby. If you let your\nnoise levels get too high, they will go directly to the landlord first. At most\nyou will receive a notice or letter of some sort that will tell you about a\ncomplaint that had been lodged against you. Sometimes it will be a building\nwide letter to try to remind everyone of the noise rules. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The only way your neighbors will talk\nto you directly is if you become friendly with them. It can be tricky as most\npeople don\u2019t speak English past some very basic phrases, and find the idea to\nbe either scary or too tiring to try. Easy ways to avoid being too loud are\nkeeping your voice at an acceptable level, wearing headphones when watching\ntelevision or listening to music, and going outside on your patio for phone\nconversations. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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It is good to be extra careful at late\nnight and early morning. If you are too loud you may find an angry neighbor\nbanging on you door to get you to stop being so loud. After that you will get a\nwarning from the landlord as well. In those instances it is best to just a\napologize as best you can and try to calm the situation down. It may not do\nmuch in the moment, but it can help in later instances if you end up having\nanother interaction with them. You can also contact the landlord if it becomes\na larger altercation, or if you have the same noise problem with one of your\nneighbors. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even though they know that you aren\u2019t\nfrom Japan their patience isn\u2019t infinite. They will be lenient about mistakes\nand simple miss ques on Japanese living for a while, but will eventually begin\nto tire of having to keep correcting your mistakes. Eventually actions will be\ntaken for not adhering to the countries norms. They will either confront you directly,\nor passively to solve the issue. An example of this would be for when you\nseparate trash for pick up. Some residents will separate it properly the first\nfew times to show you how it should be done. Eventually they will see that you\nare not trying to do it correctly, and some people have had instance where the\nresidence would put the trash back in front of their door. Things like this are\na typical way of them trying to handle a situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The reason for this behavior is that\ndirect confrontation is not a common way in which to resolves things there.\nMost of the situations are handled by subtle hints in conversation, or doing it\nthrough other impersonal ways. Even English speaking Japanese will have these\ntendencies when using English as it is ingrained in their culture. Many want to\nbe more direct, don\u2019t have to do it in their normal lives, so they don\u2019t. This\ntakes some understanding from foreigners as it is not your home country. Once\nyou realize this, it becomes easier to understand and not to get offended when\nthese situations tend to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Aside from being passive aggressive\nmost people met in Japan are general nice and kind. Though it comes from a\nculture that rewards this attitude, it is mostly a case of honne and tatemai.\nThe concept of honne and tatemai is that everyone has a mask that we show to\neveryone that is not close to us, and our true selves that is reserved for only\nthose who are very close. You will encounter far more tatemai than honne\nsituations, and it takes a considerable amount of time and effort to break that\nwall down. Try to understand how this has shaped the culture and you may find\nyou interactions to be more pleasant. You may find more friends this way, and\neven make some close relationships. Don\u2019t try to rush anything, and be mindful;\nof their situations as well. Remember that you will be the example that they\nwill base their views of every other foreigner on. It is best to make the best\nexperience possible for the new people you meet. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Living in Japan is comparable to living in other places in the world. Everyone is simply living their lives as best they can. With that being said, there can be some predetermined conceptions about Japanese neighbors. Some things you may hear can be common everyday mannerisms you\u2019ll find everywhere else. Others will require a little […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":2947,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2946","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-japanese-apartment-life"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.villagehouse.jp\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2946","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.villagehouse.jp\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.villagehouse.jp\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.villagehouse.jp\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.villagehouse.jp\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2946"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blog.villagehouse.jp\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2946\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.villagehouse.jp\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2947"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.villagehouse.jp\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2946"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.villagehouse.jp\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2946"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.villagehouse.jp\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2946"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}